Take me back to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the (boys) are pretty.

I want to go back to Canmore.

Canoeing the Coldstream/Becaguimec/St. John

Whoot. Life in Windsor... bah. Boring! Luckily, this past week has been a lot more interesting. Erick van Til, from Summit, was down for a wedding last weekend, and he stayed with Rachael and I for the past week. It was so good to see him, it'd been over a year since I saw him last. Anyway, Erick and Rachael were at my house for three days. We did a bunch of stuff. Toured Woodstock, checked out the waterfall in Lower Brighton, went to Maine so I could apply for my US Passport (whoot whoot, I am a dual US and Canadian Citizen), went thrift shopping, cooked food, watched X-Files, drank my two Mike's left over from New Years 2004, and hung out at my house a lot. With Willie. My dog. Rachael and Erick fought over her affection. And the best part of the week..... canoeing. Tee hee.

Ben Kent, called us up and wanted to go canoeing. Well he wanted to go climbing but it was raining, so this was plan B. So he borrows a canoe from some dude, since he only has one and there's 4 of us, picks us up and off we go!
Our plan: Put in at the Coldstream behind Rebecca and Courtney's, paddle down to Coldstream and meet up with the Becaguimic, and paddle down to the St John River, and then take out at the Hartland Church, where Ben's truck would be waiting. Takes about 3 hours, give or take.
Alright, so off we go. Erick and I in Ben's canoe, and Rach and Ben in the other. Now... their canoe was a lot bigger.... not a lot a lot but enuf that they floated higher. Makes a big difference when you're going through strainers. Also, they wore their life jackets. Erick and I... didn't. They were those nasty old school orange ones with the big floaty thing behind your head. So, we figured we prolly wouldn't drown on the Coldstream. Anyway. Did I mention it was raining? And had been for a few days now? Yeah, the water was pretty high. And moving pretty fast. There had obviously been some serious flooding on the Coldstream, cos there were trees and strainers and crap EVERYWHERE!!! It was crazy. Yes, Erick and I tipped. There was this big tree, full across the water, and it was about three feet off the water. We thought, man, we can just slide right under that. So we come up to it, and I lean back, and pretty much fall in the canoe, so I'm basically laying down in it, with my arms and legs out, haha. Anyway, I slide right under, but we drifted too much to were the tree was lower, so it totally clotheslined Erick. Oh yeah, Erick is like 6'4, and doesn't easily duck under stuff in a canoe. So anyway, we go over, and oh man... the water was frigid. We couldn't feel our legs practically right away. Ben and Rach went downstream to catch my runaway paddle and life jacket... tee hee... while Erick and I flipped the canoe over. The current was so strong too. We didn't even get out of the water. Just rolled the canoe over and lifted it out of the water. It was only like waist deep water. Anywho... we got back in and off we went. Tho we were pretty much freezing the rest of the day, cos it was cold and drizzling so we didn't dry at all. And this was like right at the start. Twice more we almost got smoked by strainers, but we managed to get out. Once, we were right under the top of a tree, so it was all branches and crap, and oh man, I was NOT going over. Erick said I was doing some crazy Matrix moves, trying to not get caught by the tree. I knew if I did, then we'd be done for sure, cos if we both got caught... a swimming we could go. But we made it. And the other, lol.. it was right on a turn, and most of it was obstructed by a strainer. So, we had to try and stay as close to the middle of the river as we could, then paddle like mad to get to the right to get around this strainer. Well, good luck. we all went all the way to the left, and there was this big like 3 foot diameter stump thing sticking out over the water. Back I go into the canoe, slide under it, and guess what, Erick gets caught. And we're going over. I'm flailing and carrying on, trying to get to the left so we don't go over. Finally we're stable, and I look back at Erick.. lol. The stump is between is, and he's just got his arms around the tree. Tee hee. Ben and Rach come by and hit us, but we hold them steady and then they go on. So anyway, for Erick and I to get loose of the tree, he had to climb over it, lol. The whole time, he's like "This goes against anything I've ever learned about canoeing." haha... but there was no other way.

Friggin Rachael and Ben squeaked past everything. Coincidence? I think not. Obviously the ones wearing the life jackets wouldn't flip.

It was a great day tho :) We had so much fun! And once we got off the Coldstream, which was over half of the trip, almost, then it was clear sailing. The Becaguimic was AWESOME!! oh man!! Great big wavey things, we were getting some serious air with the front of the canoe! Prolly because A. Erick was in the back and weights a lot more than I, and B. by this time there was so much water in the back of the canoe from our almost tippings that Erick's feet were pretty much submerged. And every time we hit a good wave, I got splashed. Frigging cold. I couldn't feel my feet, haha. So yeah, it was a wicked trip. Way harder than the Buffalo. We were expecting a pretty easy paddle, that that was teh hardest (and more fun) I've ever had canoeing. Then of course we went to Matt Grahams and I sat soaked and freezing. lol.

But now they're gone :( Erick has gone back to Ontario for a week, and Rachael has moved to Ottawa. I am once again alone.

Pyromaniacs

Until tonight, I never realized quite the degree of pyromania my brother and I had when we were little. Honestly. Mum, Sam, Kait, and I were sitting around the table talking tonight, and somehow that topic came up.

Imagine me, 3 years old, running off down the road with Sam and Daniel and Oliver Arnold, to light matches and drop them down into the oil in an old engine. Them being 5, 8, and 4. None of whom should prolly have been lighting matches, let alone teaching the 3 yr old tag-a-long girl. And that was just the beginning!! Everything Sam and I did seemed to involve fire. We'd swipe some gasoline and go off and find a big ant hill. Pour the gas all over it, and light it. Ever hear the sound of fire rushing through ant tunnels? Or, we'd take all the over-ripe cucumbers and zuchinni's (sp?) from the garden and burn out the inside, and use them as chimneys, after lighting a fire in our fire pit. OR... all the times we'd go up to Kai's, and all we did there was go out in the woods and ...you guessed it, light fires. Though these were camp fire types, we never burned things down. And apparently we'd go light fires with Steffen and Lea too, but I don't remember that. Basically, we lit a lot of fires. Where were our parents, you ask? Well,they trusted us. Figured we were pretty safe. Lucky for them, they were right. The hundreds of fires we've lit, and nothing's been destroyed. Though Sam tells us he and someone just about burnt the barn down once, smoking straw or something retarded thing.
Anyway. I've either blocked most of these memories, or else just didn't think of them all at once to see the obvious connection... of a couple of fire addicts. Ah we've come so far :)

I won't comform.

One for the record, I hate going to the dentist. Honestly. $100 for barely 20 minutes of painfilled 'work'. I'm pretty sure she jabbed me with that stupid metal thing more than she hit my teeth. My mouth isn't that big, get better aim.

Sam tells me today that it's up to me to have kids. Excuse me? I'm going to be the only source of grandchildren for my mother? Well she's crap out of luck. How many times do I have to tell them, I don't like kids. Prolly I'll be an old spinster who no one'll marry anyway, so she'll have to rely on... well. Maybe Sam and Jonah will adopt? Or maybe her next dog will have puppies.

Once again, why am I here?

So, last night. What a strange mixture of.... I'm not even sure what. The ups and downs of being back in the regular home life. Sarah and Erika came home from school this weekend. I went to Sarahs for a while, and then later we went to Erika's to see her and Amber. It was so good to see them again, I miss them so much. They're the kind of friends where it doesn't matter how long you go without seeing each other, when we're together again it's the same old "SHE" team, haha. Anyway, before going to Erika's, Sarah and I went to Shekinah. Shekinah is this monthly youth service that was started up 4 or so years ago, by Stephen Page and a bunch of others. Every year the band has changed by way of people graduating and moving on. I started going last year because Jess was leading the band. And I got roped into doing over heads whenever I wasn't working. It's pretty much a social 'get to see everyone from camp thru the winter' kind of thing, more than anything else.

So, Sarah and I go. As soon as we sat down, I looked at her and said 'Remind me again why we're here." We both wanted so badly to leave. It was the weirdest feeling ever. Sarah's in the outs with the camp and Jacksonville people, so she didn't want to see them, and I just felt so out of place. I didn't really want to see anyone anyway, except a few that I didn't even get to say more than hi to. Plus, since when did Shekinah turn into a concert? I coudn't believe it. There were 10 friggin people on stage. I'm sorry, but you do not need 7 singers. It sounded absolutely terrible. There was so much disortion and feedback, not to mention way too many people that didn't have it down. It was obvious with their constant looking at each other for cues, and people coming in at the wrong times. Plus side, it was good to see Lucas up there!! He sounded really good, despite everything else. Haha tho I'm defintely a little biased towards him.
Anyway, it definitely made me realize that I've outgrown this place, especially the group of people around here that I normal would hang out with I.E. the camp people. There's so much stupidness going on around here that hardly anyone knows about, or if they do, they choose to ignore. Too much politics within the churches, and the camp especially. Some serious changes need to be made, and no one who could do anything about it, sees it. It drives me crazy. The narrowmindedness of the Chrisians in Carleton County astounds me. And how figureheads in the church can get away with constant mental abuse to their own children, and no one dares to say a word. I hate that I've come back to the same old crap. It does nothing but make me want to get away even more, which isn't such a bad thing. I fear that I'll never be able to come back here and live. Or if I do, it'll have to be a completely different life. Unless big changes are made, I don't want anything to do with all the, dare I say corruption? of this place. I realize it's like this most places, but being my home and all, I notice it so much more. I prolly sound pretty hard hearted but I could leave this place and never look back. Aside from select friends and family, I couldn't care less if I ever saw anyone again. I just don't want to be here anymore. it's funny how I've always thought I would end up here, always WANTED to end up here. Even after Summit. But living in Canmore definitely changed that. I'v totally fallen in love with that place, and all I want is to go back.